


Trespassers will get (shot) laid

by Kura



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: M/M, special appearance by Roman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 18:26:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8544331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kura/pseuds/Kura
Summary: 'Whoa, you are just going to walk away after watching me like some creep for God knows how long and scaring me to death without even telling me your name?' Dean looks back over his shoulder, grinning at the flustered guy. 'Naked and cocky. Hm, I like them feisty.'





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SilentDarkness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentDarkness/gifts).



> This has been sitting on my harddrive for far too long, so I thought I'd finally post it. Seems like I'm getting stuff done during NaNo after all. Not the stuff I was planning to (FIO), but hey, better than nothing, right? XD

**Trespassers will get ~~shot~~ laid**

'Hey, Ro, buddy,' he calls out, slipping into his muddy boots, looking up to be greeted by a set of warm, brown eyes. 'Gotta head out, get us some wood for tonight. You be a good boy and guard the cabin, alright?'

His dog pants excitedly as if he really understood his words and is looking forward to have the place all to himself while toddling over to the entry to see him out. 'That's my bud,' he ruffles the jet black fur, giving Roman a peck on the head. 'I'll be back in no time.'

Dean gets a happy, deep bark before he closes the door, jumping down the three steps of his porch. For a while he just stands there, eyes closed, letting the sun shine on his face through the trees surrounding his cabin, listening to the sounds of nature.

He's really come to love the peace and quiet this abode offers him, which is why he grabs Roman every Friday evening to drive out here and spend the weekend in utter silence and solitude. People always assume Dean needs action and booze to survive the day but the boring truth is, as much as he enjoys getting wasted now and then, he much rather comes here, being as far away from society as possible.

Don't get him wrong, Dean can be loud, obnoxious, wild and the one who provokes a fight, but that's the side of him he shows everyone, so nobody tries to mess with him. He's let people walk all over him while growing up, so he thought it'd be best to play the tough, untouchable guy.

When he opens his lids again, he watches a squirrel run hastily from left to right, speeding up a tree and only once it's out of sight Dean starts moving again, certain he will no longer scare it with his presence and the inevitable noise he makes. This might be his property, but the land still belongs to nature and he's simply a guest here. It's bad enough when Ro's on the loose, trying to play with the animals living in the woods who just won't understand that he's not out to break their tiny necks.

Roman's the best companion one could ask for; huge, very protective, perceptive, cuddly and – though he's not the youngest anymore – totally kittenish.

He's been heading deeper into the forest, picking up broken branches for maybe five minutes when he hears it. Someone's singing at the top of their lungs to a music that's either not there or too low for him to catch. The sound's coming from the lake at the edge of his estate.

Seems like he got himself another pesky gatecrasher.

Dean has long since given up on being pissed about this – cause it happens almost every weekend in the summer time. He only goes _Wrong Turn_ and _Dying Breed_ on them if they're a group of shitfaced students littering his lake and wood. It's not like he didn't do the same when he was young and stupid but he paid a small fortune for this beautiful nature spot and he seriously freaks out if Ro accidentally walks into a used needle or some broken shards. His beloved dog once got hit at the head with a full beer bottle cause he wouldn't stop barking at some college students.

To avenge his best friend, he ran after them with a seemingly bloody ax later that night, threatening to kill them like all the others if they'd ever return. Fun times.

Today though, it's not a group of people. There's only one guy, dancing across the clearing, the music he mutilates coming out of a portable radio sitting on a picnic rug. Old school stuff. Sweet. That's the way Dean likes it.

The other hasn't spotted him yet and Dean's fairly sure he won't since he knows by now how to blend in and stay hidden. Plus, the kid is so engrossed in murdering that song while moving his body like he's getting electrocuted or has ants in his pants that he won't even have a reason to search for someone who could be watching.

Without making a sound, Dean sits down cross-legged, the firewood resting in his lap. As much as his ears hurt, he's curious to see what the stranger will do next.

Another songs starts playing and Dean seriously fears for his hearing as soon he recognizes the tune cause it's always playing when he turns the radio on but thankfully, there is no more singing for now. Instead the guy takes his baseball cap off to get rid of his bun and reveal two-toned hair. Dean has seen a lot of weird hairstyles in his life – hell, he even once dyed his hair pink after losing a bet – but bleaching a whole side of your head seems kinda nuts even to him.

Apparently, someone likes to separate himself from the rest of mankind. Looks hella good though, if he's being honest with himself. And so fluffy. Makes Dean wanna run his fingers through it.

A happy humming fills the clearing in front of him; the guy giving his best off-key impression of the hit single and Dean dreads the moment the singing will start again, but then the stranger takes off his v-neck and Dean's jaw drops instantly.

Holy fuck, how can someone so young – Dean guesses he's in his early twenties – have such a ripped body? He would kill for those abs. Or love to lick them. Just imagine smearing all kinds of unhealthy food all over those muscles and eating them right in front of this guy's eyes. That'd even combine two of Dean's hobbies: teasing people and having a fun foreplay.

It's not that Dean doesn't keep himself fit with jogging and occasional boxing sessions and every woman he knows always complains how he could've been born with that insane shoulder-waist-ratio without knowing how to properly use it, wasting his god given gift, yet Dean's body is _nothing_ compared to what he's staring at right now.

'Ugh, I hate that song,' a voice jerks him out of his thoughts and Dean flinches against his will, cursing himself for not realizing sooner that hot stuff over there wasn't alone to begin with. Yeah, why should he be? With a body like that the other probably has a ton of friends – most likely more fake and real ones, but still.

To his surprise, and heartfelt relief, no one answers and it takes him almost a full minute to understand that the other is talking to himself. Oh, in that case, Dean'll stay longer cause this's gonna be good. He's frequently arguing with himself too but ever since Dean found a little pup at the side of the road and saved it from dying, he can excuse his soliloquies by claiming he's talking to Ro.

A strange chirping sound interrupts the other's now angry buzzing – cause he couldn't stop himself from singing along to the annoying song since it's so dumb and catchy – and the guy takes out his phone to read the message he just received, the fine sheen of sweat on his stupid muscles reflecting the sunlight like he just stepped out of those overrated vampire teen movies.

'I don't get it. Why won't he just leave me alone already?' the kid asks no one in particular, throwing his hands up in defeat before furiously typing away on the technical device, all the while rambling stuff Dean can't hear from his position. It's cute though that the guy won't stop complaining and that he feels comfortable enough out here to be this loud and outspoken.

'I mean, come on, we broke up ages ago,' the fine doozy suddenly raises his voice, getting up to kick off his shoes in two different directions, 'and now he thinks he can come crawling back because, _obviously_ , I have no life without him and would never dare to move on. Well, boo freaking hoo, cry me a river, dipstick. _I_ am done.'

Uh, nasty breakups and clingy ex-boyfriends. The guy has a pretty multifarious life. Dean could sit here forever, listening to the cute word vomit. But sadly, Ro's waiting for him, so he gives the handsome trespasser five more minutes to have his fun before he either throws him off his property or leaves without saying a peep cause this guy needs a place to hide just as much as Dean.

He doesn't even have to wait ten seconds to find a solid reason to keep spying on grumpy cat, as the other strips out of his skinny jeans and gets completely naked. Someone apparently feels _awfully_ safe; not even Dean has jumped into the refreshing water butt naked and he's been here every weekend for the past two years.

'I deserve so much better than you,' the young man screams his frustration into the summer breeze, a few birds fleeing the tree tops in fear, some twigs behind Dean snapping as if a doe or rabbit just turned on its heels and took off. Adam over there has no clue how to not disturb nature, but with a fine ass and complicated back-story like that, Dean can make an exception for one night.

Hey, what can he say? He's just a man.

' _I_ am a good person.' And with that the guy dives into the lake, the water pretty still for a few seconds before he breaks through the surface and wipes the wet hair out of his face. Dean – even though he's sporting a scruff himself most days – isn't really that much into facial hair, but fuck him, that guy's trimmed beard suits him so well that he'd love to grab the other's cheeks and rub them all over his skin until he has some serious stubble burn.

'How dare he think I could possibly still be into him? I mean, he never stopped being hot and all but so is an open fire and I would never touch that, not even with a pole. I wouldn't poke it with a stick either. Perhaps with some marshmallows. God, I want s'mores now,' the guy muses, all the while making little circles in the water. Dean has a hard time containing his laughter, yet he can't and doesn't even want to suppress a smile. It's like he's looking at a younger version of himself that swears a lot less and is ripped as fuck cause he too rambles the weirdest shit when he's having a heated argument with his own mind.

'Just because I am still single which is unbelievable, _I know_ ,' the kid tells a dragonfly that flies around his head a couple of times, completely scandalized. It's a shame indeed, but being alone happens to everyone sooner or later, Dean thinks, resting his back against the tree behind him. People either leave or die, that's just the way it is.

'The fact that I haven't found the right one yet does not mean I will take someone back who cheated on me with my own veterinarian.' So, naked boy has a pet too. Another plus point on an already way too long list of pros to make this guy the _right one_ for him.

'Hahaha,' a harsh, phony laughter rings out, hurting Dean somewhere deep inside his chest. It's crystal clear the guy's over his unfaithful ex-lover but also that he's still bitter he fell for such an asshole. 'Silly Seth will always be there because he surely won't ever amount to anything without me. Newsflash, meathead, I already did.'

Seth, huh? Sounds like that ex of his is in dire need of a beat down for hurting such an adorable dork. And for ever letting him go. Dean surely wouldn't do the same mistake; he too got the short end of the stick in relationships far too often in his life.

He watches Seth swim around, floating aimlessly to study the few scattered clouds in the blue sky above, enjoying the peaceful quiet for the first time. Nothing out of the ordinary happens in the next couple of minutes, so Dean thinks it's safe to leave before he blows it and ruins a perfectly fine day for that hunk, but then Seth starts singing once more and it's so enthusiastic yet horrible that he can't hold it back anymore. His laughter just slips out of his mouth and it only gets louder when Seth jumps out of his skin so badly that he loses his balance and sinks underwater, coughing violently when he emerges again.

Since it'd be typically Dean but kinda unfair to stay hidden, he gets up, placing the firewood on the ground to put his hands in his pockets and slowly walk into the clearing, still chuckling about the clumsiness he just witnessed. Seth seriously made his day, hell, his entire shitty year.

'Excuse you?' the guy all but yells, cheeks flushed red. Damn, he looks really good soaking wet and embarrassed.

Dean shakes his head, kneeling down at the shore, dipping one finger into the water. 'Nah, buddy, wrong question. _You_ are on my property, so what're ya doin' here, bathing naked in my lake, bitchin' bout your ex?'

'You heard all that?' the other asks him, eyes as huge as golf balls. He snickers, pondering for a second over letting Seth in on the secret that he's also listened to him tryin' to make everyone deaf by rumbling song after song before deciding to do it, just to see Seth stutter helplessly around. It's as hilarious as he expected.

'Y-you w-what? T-this is y-your– I swear, I-I didn't not know. I would never–' 'Relax, buddy,' Dean ends the cute blabbering, 'it's alright. You're much better than all the other invaders I had. Just don't leave your shit behind when you're done. And please, stop going all Jack the Ripper on the charts.' He turns around to pick up his branches and go back to Ro when there's the splashing of water and the sound of footsteps behind him.

'Whoa, you are just going to walk away after watching me like some creep for God knows how long and scaring me to death without even telling me your name?' Dean looks back over his shoulder, grinning at the flustered guy. 'Naked and cocky. Hm, I like them feisty.'

His words send another wave of panic through the other's well-toned body and Seth moves forward to push him out of the way and grab a huge bath towel, wrapping it tightly around himself. 'Don't worry, nothin' I haven't seen before,' he snickers, already looking forward to tell this funny story to Ro.

'I'd show you mine, so you could stop blushing but I somehow don't think it'd help you get rid of the _oh my God, he's so hot and I've been dangling my dong in front of his face the whole time_ ,' he gently mocks the other's mortification, adding nonchalantly, 'name's Dean, by the way.'

Waving at the man he walks away, sensing that the other won't let him go that easily. 'You could at least buy me dinner, now that you have seen me like this,' Seth demands stubbornly, but he's talking a bit too fast to be convincing. Dean smirks and shakes his head, holding out his arms as if to hug the whole world. 'Not my fault you hop around naked on my territory, Seth.' Still, Dean is very thankful this was seemingly his lucky day.

'How about dinner for another peek then?' Seth offers cheekily, opening the towel just enough to reveal the sparse chest hair. It'd be much more believable if he wouldn't be as red as a tomato. But Dean's learned to never turn down a gift from Lady Fortune.

'Follow me, hot stuff. And don't bother with gettin' dressed, we sure won't be eatin' any food tonight.'


End file.
